At last, I got a copy of the evaluation done by her regular OT in the mail (it was done 4/22).

Uh, help??

It’s the WRAVMA review (O.   K.  what. ever.), and the print of the standard scores was rubbed off.  So I’m googling it, and from what I understood, Amelia did not do well at all.

Now, the WRITTEN part of the eval doesn’t sound all that bad at all.  Mainly, she has attention and focus and WILL issues (as in, she’s not “willing” to do the task at hand). Yes, I know that’s a big deal in school, but it seems like all the other stuff is there, and still the NUMBERS are yucky.

And confusing.  What you should know is that I have super-abilities with math…UNTIL you put in a fraction or percent (or a dollar sign, same thing) and then I develop a brain cloud (quick, name the really bad movie that’s from!).   I tried to understand percentiles but when I saw “standard deviations”, I remembered why I hated college physics lab.

Only 15 more years of school before I can be excused, sigh…

I can’t get the You Tube clip to fit, so here is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfNAiBj-Hvs

I remember when Congresswoman McMorris Rodgers had her son, and it was all, “OH. He has DOWN syndrome.” Kudos to the congresswoman, who is looking awesome and whose son is gorgeous, for rising above the prejudice and launching this Caucus. A shout out to Nicole at All 4 My Gals for posting this.More links
Congresswoman McMorris Rodgers website
National Down Syndrome Congress
IDEA: Our nation’s special ed laws
Wrightslaw: helping us lay people to READ the law A big thank you to Katrina for those last 2 resources.

I’ve been trolling the blogosphere, and I’ve also been a little under the weather as are the kids, and I thought I would post about sickness.

Now my family genetics are dicey when it comes to illnesses. I always thought I was in the clear because I take fairly good care of myself (usually), have never had high blood pressure, and I’m on cumadin for life - so my family’s history with heart diseases and blood clots should never be a problem.

But my yucky genetics doesn’t end there.

For one thing, Mom had breast cancer - at an elderly age, so it’s not quite the same as the kind you get when you’re young, and they tell me that it’s not really genetic on my father’s side (his sister died of cancer at 59, after battling breast cancer a good decade). Ok, that’s fine, but she also has Alzheimers. I just recently learned that you have an increased chance of THAT if you have Down syndrome. (Kids with DS also have slightly increased chances of leukemia and thyroid issues - the thyroid stuff ALSO could be passed down from mom to me to my kids.)

I know that I battled depression in my teen years, and have learned that kids with sensory disorders have a high risk of teen depression.

Dad - and his dad and HIS dad - all had Parkinson’s, and DAMN if my little pinky doesn’t SHAKE on its own every now and then.

What do I do with all this? The old me would have laid down and died, and written some horrid little poetic drivel about how life was pointless, blah blah blah.

But no. I have some faith. It won’t happen to our family. Actually, I have a lot of faith that these things won’t happen to us. If you want a logical “why” answer, well, keep looking, you won’t get it here. I don’t know why I feel that way, but I DO know that I am absolutely required by God to KEEP feeling this way, to keep believing that genetics doesn’t mean the deck is stacked, that in reality, scientists (and concerned regular people) are closer to cures and solutions, that the power of the brain REALLY means something, and that optimism, hope, faith, love and a cheerful demeanor fight disease and “family history” better than anything else.

Just my 2 cents. Maybe I’m deluded, but when I pass away at a ripe old age from natural causes, with all my organs and faculties intact, you’ll see. What’s your opinion?

Ok, I hope you’re not thinking I’ve sold out by the headline! Maybe I should have resisted, but when Belli Cosmetics contacted me and asked if I’d do a review and if they could send me a sample of their product, I found it impossible to resist. I don’t think you can be too over-indulgent with skincare when you are my age (42), and over-the-counter simply does NOT work as well as the good stuff. Frankly, the idea of getting spa-quality products in the mail made me giddy and girl LOVES Product, so I said “yes”. I told them about my skin issues (severe dry skin, esp in winter) and they put a package together for me.

A few days after sending out my address, I receive a large box in the mail. I was expecting some sample-sized products, so I thought the box might be filled with a lot of packing materials. Instead, it was filled with a lot of product. WOW. I could not believe it, 4 full sized products for me to review. I was immediately impressed. And the packaging was gorgeous. Silver or clear plastic tubes or pump bottles with lilac or powder blue / white labelling. Gorgeous, Belli can I hire your branding people?? “Professional” is the word that comes to mind when I think of Belli’s marketing.

Now, onto the products:

1. Acne Clearing Facial Wash: They thought they’d send this to me even knowing I might not have this issue. What they didn’t know is that just a few days before getting the package, something funny went on with hormones or thyroid and I started breaking out, like back in high school. So I used their wash as advised with my favorite face cream, and within 2 days, the pimples dried up - gently though, not like someone sucked all the moisture out of my skin. Within a few days, the acne was clear - not a mark or trace or anything. I foolishly stopped using (no acne, no need, just use regular face wash, right?) but my hormonal issues were not done, so now I’m using it daily. It is also very gentle on the rest of my face, and I love this about it. Great job, Belli!

2. Eye Brightening Cream: This is meant to reduce puffiness and dark circles. I never have good results with eye cream or maybe I’m just expecting too much, or maybe I just don’t see the subtle differences. I have issues with getting enough rest and eye allergies, so my particular dark circles are pretty tough to beat. I don’t recall noticing any puffiness, though, so it might have helped there.

3. Skin Smoothing Body Exfoliator: Tell you the truth, I have never really thought about exfoliating anything other than my face and feet, so this was a rare treat. It’s the kind of exfoliator that is grainy so I wasn’t sure where to rub, so I tried neck, upper body, arms (esp those rough dry elbows), legs and feet. It was really like getting a mini spa treatment in my shower and my elbows and feet most noticeably were soft and lovely afterwards. This I highly recommend!

4. All Day Moisture Body Lotion: Mmmm, lemon and chamomile. This lotion was the perfect follow up to the exfoliator. The scent is calming and relaxing and the perfect way to wrap up a day after a nice long hot shower. Very creamy, not even remotely greasy, I love it.

All these products are priced between $20 and $30 but they are generous in size, in my opinion, compared to other products. They each only required a small amount per usage. Belli’s products are geared towards pregnant women — and I wish I knew about them when I was pregnant, because I’m betting that the Elasticity Belly Oil would have soothed my tooo sensitive to even touch abdomen when I was 7 mos preggers with Amelia. They advertise as safe to use during pregnancy “by eliminating harmful ingredients”.

So there you have it - my first product recommendation. If they had an ad program, I would definitely run it. Check out their web site and see if what they have meets your skin care needs. Happy shopping!

Some long overdue pictures of my angels, taken LAST NIGHT!

…and not to be outdone, Zoe complete BLEW the OT away today after therapy.  She can string beads …do you know how hard that is for a 2 year old?  Other accomplishments in our session: good eye contact, more vocalization, able to be swung in blanket for prolonged periods, and the SUPER biggie?  She actually OFFERED Tara her hands to show her the sign she couldn’t remember.

6 months ago, I could barely touch her hands.  Not only that, but she is more patient, and outbursting less..and the tantrums seemed to have gone.   You may recall that 6 months ago, small blocks falling over made her jump.  Well, this week she turned on the vacuum by herself… and was startled.  She jumped back a few feet, but still stood there, looking at the vacuum and then imitated it!!  That is HUGE!

Tara was wondering if it was the music therapy which we’ve not been able to do much of lately because of the kids’ schedule (ha! catch-22).   I had a brilliant idea, though…maybe Amelia can benefit from this therapy too.  Cool, I will try it.

I’m feeling good.  I will be responding to comments later, a bit busy as it is the night for my school.  Take care, all,

signed, a happy mommy.

During a week (or month, or actually YEAR) that I’ve needed to answer questions and focus on what’s “wrong” with my children, I wanted to share with you my moment of joy yesterday.

It was Amelia’s first visit to the dentist and she did EXCELLENT!  No crying, no screaming, no destroying things.  They were even able to brush her teeth and get a small peek at them (they look good from what dentist and hygenist could see).   In fact, the hygenist told me Amelia was one of the best kids she’d seen and was so proud that she could spit! (It’s more of a problem at home, lol…)

She very obediently picked out a toothbrush and ONE toy (a pompom).  She completely enjoyed the experience.  So chalk one up for my ‘Melia Moo, because she ROCKS!

OK, GOTTA RUN..

Tonight I went to the “how to get your child ready for Kindergarten” meeting at Amelia’s future kindergarten. It was really more of a “what to expect” meeting, with a presentation by the teachers on “what they’d like”. It’s not so bad, but I had to go open my big mouth at the end and ask about a child who has an IEP and/or learning disabilities Everyone listened politely, but the parents - who mostly knew each other and NONE who came alone like I did - well, they seemed fine. Well, no actually, because I tried to smile at a few and they looked at me like I had an alien popping out of my gut.

Of course, after asking my question, I was once again the unpopular girl in high school who has some kind of defect (never really figured out what mine was, except shyness). The teacher could not answer, only the principal who gave this long and drawn out answer that essentially meant special ed - maybe.

Being the ridiculous delicate flower I am, I felt emotionally scarred from there on out and could not wait for the end of the thing (it went over by 15 minutes). Got in my car, determined not to let it bug me, but like a splinter on a finger you frequently use, it would not leave me alone. So I wept on the way home, badly driving because it was night and crowded and the tears obscured my view. Of course, been reading the Eckhart Tolle again, and realized that the weeping was not the standard stuff - or maybe it was and I haven’t admitted it to myself.

So here’s where it gets ugly. Be prepared, you may hate me after this. I certainly didn’t want to hang out with me after this, but I figure if God can love me through this and so much more, I can move on and forgive myself too.

As many of you know, I was a brainiac as a kid and young woman. I didn’t do anything with this gift but toss it back and forth, and waste it on one non-challenging venture after another, for one bad reason after another (fear, fun, friends?). I always figured I would have children one day (that is, once I wanted them), and take them at early ages to art museums and historical sites and places of politics and so on, and we could have these awesome discussions about literature and whether the authors of their textbooks were biased, and what kind of society have we shaped with our culture, and other philosophical meanderings by, I don’t know, say the age of 12…the latest.

I’m not saying my kids can’t learn and grow and yes, we’ve all talked about the different kinds of intelligence and so on. I guess I always assumed my kids would be my kind of intellectual.

Before you go too far down, ‘who says they can’t', let me just tell you what hit me next. NOT that whiny ‘this isn’t what I bargained for’ nonsense, no. What hit me is that this is all just another way of…

TRYING TO RIGHT YOUR WRONGS THROUGH YOUR CHILDREN

I never thought I would be that way, but yea, I guess at the root of all this junk is that I planned on having very book smart kids just like me and guiding them down the road that I still to this day regret not taking. I always think I’ve let go my regret, but there are so many parts of me that say, what if I’d just strapped on my (ahem) courage and started the writing life 25 years ago? 20? 10???

BUT NO. I had to wait for the crest of periomenopause to do this. And now I have to tread carefully that I don’t let my kids bear any kind of aftermath from this.

Back to my story…

Because a real part of those tears was the fact that I’M not ready for kindergarten. School schedules, academic learning, homework, discipline, meetings with teachers… It feels me with dread when I think of Amelia and where she is. Is this the right choice for her now? Should she stay in preschool or go on? She can stay back, if we want, but should she?

I have no idea, honestly.

Now you’re wondering why my title says “$16,800″. Well, guess what? It turns out there is a school, closer even than her daycare, that specializes in helping kids with learning disabilities succeed academically.

And THAT is the annual tuition, per child, with no scholarships or aid available, nor with any fees for that very lovely school.

Can you say, Deal or no deal?

For long time readers, you know that this new home we built last year (or really in 2006) is NOT what we wanted, because we were lied to about getting the next model up.  ANYWAY, I’ve put in my cosmic request for the house of my dreams and I’ve been having a hard time letting that go.  I do love my piece of property, which we got for a steal, and my area and hate the idea of losing great neighbors (like the family down the block also with a child with SID Zoe’s age).  Also, Amelia is starting 1st grade in about 16 months and I hate the idea of relocating schools.

All that being said, I also realize that in order to get what you want, you really have to not want it anymore.  I mean, not be married to the idea or obsessed with it, or whatever.  I realized that I’ve been acting that way.  It’s sorta like a grown up having a tantrum (being a parent really teaches you stuff!).  I decided to use my energy to focus on my current house, and not a moment too soon.  We finally have the budget for things like paint, and most of our builder’s commitments are done.

We are going to do some kitchen upgrades, putting in an island and a pantry, and we have to do it NOW because my model of cabinets will be discontinued on June 1st.  This has made me think about what I dislike about my home now and if I can fix anything  I can never get a 2 story or cathedral ceiling living room, but I CAN do other things.

Yesterday I spent some down time downloading an image of my downstairs layout and importing it into Fireworks so I can edit.  I found a PERFECT layout (after a bit of trial and error) that would be the least amount of work to do (and more cost effective).  It will have the effect of adding lots of counter space, more kitchen area room, and a gourmet kitchen.  I’m psyched, so I can now have a house I love, either this one or a bigger one

This weekend we have started our painting project and in a few weeks I’ll be remodeling my office.  (My work PC is on a plastic outdoor table now, YUCK.)  Kids rooms are first, they are looking good.  I’ll upload pictures as I go with before and after’s.  CAN’T wait!!

namaste, gb

JUST found this out - I don’t have a Baskin Robbins near me, but if you do, they are selling 31 cents a scoop. Enjoy!

http://baskinrobbins.com/Promotion/31cent.aspx